Getting together with friends to complain about the state of things, about events in your life, or even just some petty gossip is a time-honored tradition in society. We bond through complaining, and that shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing!
However, like with anything, it has its limits. If worrying, complaining, and stressing out is all someone can do, that can start to beget worse and worse habits until nobody’s having any fun anymore.
Struggling with the weight of anxiety is, sadly, not an uncommon feeling. If you feel trapped by personal beliefs about yourself, now’s the time to start releasing them so you can truly live your life to the fullest.
Coming Back To Bite
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No person is without their bad traits. We’re all imperfect, we all have faults. Usually, our worst traits are pretty straightforward, but they can sometimes become a little confusing when a trait we thought was good, or at least we thought it didn’t hurt anybody, becomes harmful to those we love.
Sometimes, bad traits feed into worse traits, and the problem grows until it is inescapable. This exact phenomenon was discussed by psychotherapist Sean Grover when he discussed the relationships between free-floating anxiety and stress-dumping.
What Is That?
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Free-floating anxiety is when anxiety starts to rule your days. In the absence of something to be anxious about, your brain will find something, as it has no other feelings to fall back on, or being anxious is now the default. It’s a form of generalized anxiety that creates the image of anxiety being a constant presence or aura around you.
Anxiety mainly only hurts the people who experience it, holding them back and keeping them from living their fullest life, but there are times when it grows so big it starts to hurt others, too.
A Heavy Weight
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This is where stress-dumping comes in. Stress dumping is sort of what it sounds like, the unloading of stress, anxiety, and worry onto another person. Now, it’s normal and healthy to vent to friends or other loved ones about the struggles you’re facing. You shouldn’t bottle feelings up at all! This behavior becomes stress dumping when it’s all that you talk about, or it becomes the only thing your mind can fixate on.
When stress and misery are the only things you can hold a conversation about, all it does is bring others down around you, with no breaks or levity as you constantly look for the next thing to worry about.
Rising Pressure
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This constant pressure can greatly damage your relationships, with conversations becoming fewer and more far between when the other person realizes that every talk you have will just leave them feeling worse.
When you’re in a relationship with someone and spending a lot of time with them, this issue compounds very quickly, and it could lead to your partner feeling burnt out, stressed out, or that they aren’t able to express themselves fully, lest you latch onto something and drag it down. By not keeping this pattern in check, the relationship can start to become very one-sided.
Where Does It Come From?
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First and foremost, if your anxiety is affecting your life this much, you should talk to a professional about it. They’ll be able to help you far better as they have training to do so and can curate some exercises that will be best for your specific situation.
Barring that, the first thing you should do is try to find the root of the problem. A lot of anxiety stems from one overarching worry. Does your job exhaust you? Were you raised with extremely vigilant parents? Have you been cheated on before? Finding that initial source and working through that first makes the rest much easier.
Prioritizing Happiness
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Lastly, be sure to actively seek out moments of joy. Indulge in your favorite activities, throw yourself into your passions, and don’t shy away from the things you love. By prioritizing your happiness, you can stave away some of the dark clouds that bring about worry.
You deserve to live a life that’s free from excess stress, as do the people you surround yourself with. By confronting the ways anxiety manifests in your life, you can create a happier future for yourself and for others.
